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Appreciation in the Workplace

Appreciation in the Workplace

Consider this: you have two employees who share the same job. Let’s call them John and Jane. They have the same duties, same daily responsibilities, and work with the same teammates. Jane is highly motivated and continually achieves exactly what you request of her. You set daily operations meeting first thing every morning to set targets and goals for the day and this has proven to get the results you need out of Jane. You are committed to ensuring your team is working cohesively so ensure you make time to have lunch with the employees and even schedule monthly team-outings.

John, on the other hand, is more than capable of meeting these targets and even outperforming Jane, but doesn’t have the same consistent results. John receives all the same instructions as Jane, he always participates in the operations meetings and team activities, but you just can’t figure out why his performance is inconsistent.

Last month, you sat down with John and told him he was a star and you value him as an employee. Everything was great after that meeting; he quickly moved to the head of the pack in terms of performance, but now it has tapered off again.

Have you ever been in a situation at work where you just can’t figure out what motivates someone?

By all accounts, it sounds like you are committed to your team, you want to ensure the employees are engaged and supported and care about their success. So why is John not performing consistently?

John and Jane are motivated differently, and you have fallen into the one-size-fits-all leadership approach. Each of these employees requires a different method of appreciation to motivate them.

“The highest driver of engagement in whether workers feel their managers are genuinely interested in their well-being”. How can employees be appreciated if you are not recognizing them in their language? Gary Chapman and Paul White discuss this very topic in The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace.

Read on as share the five languages of appreciation in the workplace: quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, tangible gifts, and physical touch.

Quality time

Quality time refers to people who accept appreciation through quality time spent with their superiors and coworkers. Giving full, undivided attention to employees while both in a team or one-on-one setting is key to making them feel appreciated. Negative feelings can arise if not enough attention is given or if you seem distracted and not present.

Acts of service

Acts of service refer to people who accept and show appreciation by doing things. They believe that actions speak louder than words and want to see quality work being done. It may offend someone if a commitment to do work is made and doesn’t get done.

Words of affirmation

Words of affirmation mean that people will receive appreciation through words. Positive language and words of encouragement are needed to make some people feel wanted and appreciated in the workplace. Likewise, if too much negative language is used it can demotivate employees and make them feel isolated.

Tangible gifts

Tangible gifts are used for people who express appreciation in the workplace by giving and receiving gifts. This could be a dinner, tickets to a sporting event, or even a box of chocolates. When an employee does a good job it is best to give them a small gift instead of giving them praise.

Physical touch

Physical touch can be the main driver of appreciation for some people. Be careful, because this can be tricky to use in the workplace. A solid handshake or a pat on the back will let employees know that their work is appreciated, but doesn’t cross any workplace boundaries.

In our example, Jane definitely feels appreciated by quality time. She thrives on having daily operations meetings, enjoys team lunches and is encouraged by team outings. On the other side of the equation, John may enjoy these same things, but it is not what motivates him and makes him feel appreciated. He is driven by words of affirmation. He requires the individualized feedback he was given during his private meeting last month. Now that you understand each employee may require a different type of appreciation to stay motivated and feel engaged, think about how you show appreciation in the workplace to your team.

 

To learn more about the importance of appreciation in the workplace and how emotional intelligence benefits your organization, sign up for our biweekly newsletter here, where you will receive our latest updates, an inventory of resources, and much more!

Check out our workshop on Communication in the Workplace to learn two powerful communication models grounded in emotional intelligence – how to give and receive feedback, and how to have a difficult conversation.

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7 Traits of Successful Leaders

7 Traits of Successful Leaders

Have you ever wondered why some people are so successful while others are not? What is the secret ingredient to their success? Well, here’s the truth…there really is no secret. Success is like baking a cake, everyone has their own favourite recipe, but the basic ingredients are the same. All successful people, regardless of their age, gender, education, upbringing, type of business, etc., hold similar qualities or traits.

 

The 7 key traits that every successful leader has

1. Self-Awareness 

“To be self-aware is to, in a sense, have a different level of control over your actions and choices—and to operate from a perspective that is not fueled by short-sighted and often ego-driven desires”. Look at your life as a neutral observer and not as a participant; almost like you were watching a movie of your life from up above. This will help you gain a different perspective, and you can clearly see yourself with a new lens.

Effective leaders are always looking inward and self-reflecting. They understand what they value and what motivates them. They focus and play to their strengths, while always looking for blind spots, and discovering areas to improve.

Knowing is the first step. Once you know better, you do better. Self-awareness is essential and successful people are always perfecting their talents, and learning from their failures.

2. Courage

Courage is believing in yourself and knowing that you are bigger and stronger than your greatest fears. When you believe you can handle anything regardless of how frightening it may be, you will have the courage to do it. In her book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers shares that all of our fears stem from a lack of trust in ourselves. “Every time you encounter something that forces you to ‘handle it’ your self-esteem is raised considerably. You learn to trust that you will survive, no matter what happens. And in this way, your fears are diminished immeasurably.”

How often do you get out of your comfort zone? Why don’t you push and challenge yourself more? Think about it, how many times have you stepped out of your comfort zone and then said to yourself, “I don’t know why I didn’t do that earlier?” Having courage allows you to make the commitment to begin something new without any guarantee of success.

It is only in the moments when we step out of our protective barriers and into the unknown, that we truly grow. Sometimes the first steps out of our comfort zone are awkward or painful, but they are always learning moments. Anyone can do it. We all have the courage to be fearless, brave, and continue to push ourselves and maximize our potential to achieve more.

3. Passion

What does passion look like? When someone has a passion they typically exude confidence and are fully engaged. This enthusiasm becomes contagious to those around them and generally drives ideas and people further.

It is amazing how far passion can take you. When others may be willing to quit, passion is the fuel that will push you on. It will keep you going when the job is unpleasant, or the results aren’t what you want them to be. Passion will give you limitless energy and motivation to push through the many difficult challenges that come across your desk.

Richard Branson, CEO of Virgin, turned his passions into a successful, booming empire. “Passion is one of the most effective motivators when it comes to launching a business – and often one of the strongest predictors of whether an idea will lead to success” (Richard Branson)

4. Perseverance and Determination

It’s easy to quit. It’s easy to walk away. However, you do not achieve success by wishing for it. Perseverance is about the strength of mind and body, collectively.

People who are determined and willing to persevere are more motivated to accomplish more goals, or rise to the top. Determination, resilience, and perseverance leads to success. We all know that overcoming setbacks rather than giving in to them is difficult. But all things are difficult before they are easy.

Determination is not something that can only show up in the workplace. It manifests itself in many aspects of life, including personal hobbies and sports. Recently, we have been witness to great accomplishments in the 2016 Rio Summer Olympics. These amazing athletes remind us that ordinary people can do extraordinary things when they are willing to go to any lengths to achieve success and reach their goals. Natural talent certainly plays a contributing role; but sometimes, people who lack extraordinary talent, can accomplish great feats through sheer willpower and determination.

5. Empathy

Empathy is putting yourself in somebody else’s shoes; seeing things through their eyes and feeling their emotions. It’s about relating to others. “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” (Theodore Roosevelt).

When you lead with empathy, you take into consideration the trials and tribulations that your employees face on a daily basis, and then you can start to comprehend their world. Once you have some context, you then need to find ways to communicate with them so they will hear you. The best leaders lift people up. When employees feel heard, cared for, and respected, they are motivated to achieve more.

The success of a team depends on its leader. Employees may come and go, but if they are merely going through the motions to get to their weekend, then you aren’t getting the best out of them. Ask yourself – are you in tune with your team, or are you singing a completely different song? If you are truly connected with your team, you will get their extra effort without having to ask.

In the book Contented Cows Give Better Milk, Bill Catlette and Richard Hadden make the case that treating people right is one of the best things any business can do for its bottom line. People who feel cared for are more committed, motivated, and engaged; they will typically give the extra effort to soar to higher heights without ever being asked. Therefore, building strong relationships with the people who you work with and truly understanding and getting to know them is what leads to success in business.

6. Flexibility and Adaptability

As I mentioned earlier, it’s important to be passionate or perhaps even dogged about what you do; however, being inflexible about current market trends, client needs, and adopting new approaches, will lead to failure.

What makes a business leader successful is their tendency to listen and follow their heart and passions, while also making a business out of their ideas. Ignoring customer needs, and advances in the global business world will not bode well on their journey to success. Truly successful people are open to all suggestions to optimize and customize their ideas. This will help with enhancing their viewpoints and offerings as well as satisfying market conditions and client needs. Successful people are willing to change course to overcome challenges and adopt new ideas, rather than clinging to opinions and actions that may, or may not, be working. As a leader, flexibility is essential and will allow you to perform well when conditions are characterized by rapid change.

Flexibility allows us to move to a place of openness and possibility instead of being stuck in limiting thought patterns. Flexible people accommodate different interests, as they have an easier time shifting their approaches to meet the needs of the many people involved. This makes it easier to acquire allies and develop influence in an organization. In addition, truly successful people are willing to get their hands dirty and try on different roles and wear many hats in an organization. Therefore, it is important to be willing to learn on the go.   Rarely are successful people ever given the luxury and time of truly being ‘ready’ – to have every single duck in a row before they have to make some big decisions. They sometimes need to just go with the flow.

7. Focus

Focus is key to happiness and success in life but it can be difficult to steer away from distractions and keep on track. Successful people are able to pay close attention to what is happening in the present moment and stay on task. This habit ensures that they are fully engaged in their work, and are able to get more done in a shorter amount of time.

One common misconception is that multitasking means you can get more done, but this has proven to be false. One realization study shows that multitasking can result in up to a 40% loss of productivity. In the absence of multitasking, there was a 59.8% in the average number of projects being completed and a 35.5% reduction in the time spent to complete a project. In order to increase productivity, successful people must learn to break their bad multitasking habits and concentrate solely on what is most important.

Successful people are able to avoid and eliminate distractions and concentrate on the task at hand. It is easy to get distracted by a new email in your inbox or a call asking you to take on another last-minute task, but these types of communications tend to divert attention and energy and lure people away from their main focus.

Successful people discipline themselves to stay on track. They relentlessly pursue what really matters to them. They have prioritized what’s truly important against what seems to be urgent, and they don’t get sidetracked. The greatest leaders are those who say ‘no’ to most things…why? The answer is simple, successful people focus on only the items that are absolutely necessary, and ignore the rest. They are laser-focused on what’s really going to help their business grow.

Ask yourself – how strong are you in the traits that I listed above? Like every professional – in the office, in the boardroom, or as we see on the sports field, we have strengths, and we have areas to improve on. It’s acceptable to admit that we need to work on certain characteristics, and it’s equally important to ask for help or coaching from others.

EI Experience and Carolyn Stern work with businesses to help make them better. Why not find out more about our services?

To learn more about how to lead your team to success using emotional intelligence, sign up for our biweekly newsletter here, where you will receive our latest updates, an inventory of resources, and much more!

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How To Be Emotionally Intelligent At Work

How To Be Emotionally Intelligent At Work

Working with different groups of people is unenviable. Whether it is in the workplace or the classroom, at some point you will have to work with a team to pursue a common outcome.

When you are in a group you are faced with differences in opinions, beliefs, personalities, strengths and weaknesses. Introducing emotional intelligence (EI) into a group setting will allow the whole team to work together with minimal clashing.

When working in teams, the first thing you should do is observe the team and see if there are any visible signs of EI already taking place.

What to look for:

  • When a person is talking, are others paying attention?
  • Is each person’s opinions and ideas being heard?
  • If someone has a different opinion, does everyone acknowledge it and try to understand it?
  • Is there a sense of optimism?
  • Is the group focused on seeking solutions?
  • Does everyone respectfully speak their mind and feel comfortable doing so?

Benefits of an emotionally intelligent team:

  • It allows for the group to have open and honest conversations
  • You gain respect for others that may have different opinions
  • Individuals gain more confidence
  • Grows trust in one another
  • Productivity improves
  • Increases efficiency

Implementing emotional intelligence into a team:

When introducing a more EI forward group dynamic, it is important to start an open conversation. If there isn’t a clear leader in the group, that is ok, you can be the one to take on this role. A leader’s guide to solving challenges with emotional intelligence starts with building unity. In the first meeting start a conversation that allows everyone to speak on what their ideal result of the project is. Some questions to get the conversation flowing are as followed:

  • Why is the group working together?
  • What is the common outcome needed by us working together?
  • What are everyone’s ideas?
  • What role is everyone comfortable with having?
  • Are there certain things you don’t want to do?

Remember, when someone is speaking, active listening is key. If you are initiating the conversation, facilitate the discussion to ensure everyone is listening and accepting differing opinions.

The next thing you should be doing is having regular check-ins with the team.  A check-in is a great tool to use to make sure everyone is on the same page. If someone is unhappy with the direction the team is going, everyone needs to listen and understand why he or she feels that way, so the team can find a resolution together.

Now that the team is communicating and using active listening, you need to create opportunities for continued bonding. A great team is only as strong as the connection between all team members and comradery can happen both inside and outside of the workplace. When team members gather outside of work, it makes the team more cohesive. Keep in mind if you are not working, don’t talk about it!

Emotional intelligence and team effectiveness go hand-in-hand. Working in a team setting can be challenging at times, but with the help of emotional intelligence, individuals are able to feel a sense of group identity and achieve results more efficiently.

If you are interested in a free emotional intelligence team activity to help build trust and develop intimate and authentic connections quickly click here.

To learn more about leading with emotional intelligence and how it impacts your team, sign up for our biweekly newsletter here, where you will receive our latest updates, an inventory of resources, and much more!

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The Choice is Yours: Choose Change

The Choice is Yours: Choose Change

At one point or another, all of us have had something happen in our life that made us spiral down into a world of despair.  In that dark place, it felt like we didn’t have the strength to dig ourselves out of our black hole. We felt pathetic, worthless, and perhaps even out of control.  We were stuck.

Well, when something bad happens to us, we all have a choice…although in tough times, it might not feel like we do. But something we must remember when going through tough times: all things are difficult before they are easy.

The choice is whether you can accept or resist the situation that has happened to you.

If you accept it, it means you take the position – what is, is.  You may not like the situation…tough times reveal that you have the power to change your set of circumstances and then take action to change it.

Alternatively, you can choose to resist the situation.  If you resist, you can feel angry that this situation has happened to you.  Feelings of revenge, guilt, depression, jealousy, or sadness may also appear.  You feel like a victim.

Being a victim comes with a price, but it also comes with a payoff. If being a victim didn’t have a payoff, we would not do it.  So, what’s the payoff?  What’s the price?

Payoff of Victim?

  • Sympathy – people feel bad for us.
  • Attention – it brings attention to us, as people are focusing on our misfortunes.
  • The excuse of playing small – we are able to continue to play small and don’t have tried anything different/scary.

Price of Victim?

  • Stuck – we feel stuck and helpless.
  • Waste of time and energy – nothing happens, and it wastes our time and energy.  Being stuck does not serve us.
  • Unhappiness – we are unhappy with our life

Critical thinker Werner Erhard’s pioneering ideas are stimulating academic conversations in leadership and integrity.  Erhard believes that everyone has to be given the opportunity to be responsible for your own circumstances.

Being responsible is not about blaming others or feeling guilty. But rather, taking personal responsibility is about taking a stand that you are equal to your condition in life.

If you are equal to the condition, if you can be responsible for your own life, you can do something about it. If you are the victim of your life, you really can’t do anything about it.

Therefore, by taking responsibility, you are taking a stand that you have the power to bring about the life you want.

If you do not feel that you are bigger than your problem/situation, then the problem/situation takes over your life.

However, if you take the stance that you have the power to do something about your life, and as difficult as it may be, you do have the capabilities to change your circumstances.

So, what choice are you going to make today?

Are you going to choose to accept your situation and take the stand that you have the power to change it?  Or are you going to resist it, feel like a victim and play small?  The choice is yours.

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The Art and Science of Leadership

The Art and Science of Leadership

Leadership is a science and an art. To be a great leader, one needs to incorporate both dimensions.

George Ambler said “The science of leadership concerns the observations, study and classification of leadership practices, resulting in a reliable explanation of what makes leaders effective”. Styles, traits, behaviours, and contingencies are topics in the scientific model of leadership, where each explanatory approach is carefully designed and tested. The scientific approach then attempts to define leadership and report on its effectiveness.

The art of leading is not an issue of evidence, it is an issue of awareness and choice.

Artful leaders first need to explore and become aware of what their personal and organizational values are. Then, they need to make the choice of whether they want to connect and live by their values, and if so, lead accordingly.

Exploring leadership as an art, leaders are asked to look inwards, perhaps at an unconscious level, and on occasion, make decisions based on their intuition or “gut feelings.” Times have changed, and leaders are moving at a much faster pace, and are confronted with issues more complex and diverse than ever. Artful leaders need to blend their rational thinking with their intuitive skills to make important decisions.

The art of leadership is about learning and gaining different perspectives.  Leaders need to be aware of how to trigger their own insights, in addition to triggering those of their team. Profound personal and team learning can occur when leaders choose to incorporate different techniques such as questioning, storytelling, humour, and reflection.

Julian Barling, author of The Science of Leadership discusses how often organizations make mistakes in regards to leadership as they are always looking at the big picture, and missing the fact that what really inspires employees is the small behaviours their leaders display. Leaders who are able to lead their teams to success are the ones who have awareness of how their leadership style impacts those around them.

Understanding how the concepts of values, intuition, and insight are used in leadership as an art and sciencethrough awareness and making more artful choices, a leader can improve their effectiveness.

To learn more about leading with emotional intelligence and how it impacts your organization, sign up for our biweekly newsletter here, where you will receive our latest updates, an inventory of resources, and much more!

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