At one point or another, all of us have had something happened in our life that made us spiral down into a world of despair.  In that dark place, it felt like we didn’t have the strength to dig ourselves out of our black hole. We felt pathetic, worthless, and perhaps even out of control.  We were stuck.

Well, when something bad happens to us, we all have a choice…although in our time of hopelessness, it might not feel like we do.

The choice is whether you can accept or resist the situation that has happened to you.

If you accept it, it means you take the position – what is, is.  You may not like the situation…but you can choose to believe that you have the power to change your set of circumstances and then, take action to change it.

Alternatively, you can choose to resist the situation.  If you resist, you can feel angry that this situation has happened to you.  Feelings of revenge, guilt, depression, jealously, or sadness may also appear.  You feel like a victim.

Being a victim comes with price, but it also comes with a payoff. If being a victim didn’t have a payoff, we would not do it.  So, what’s the payoff?  What’s the price?

Payoff of Victim?

  • Sympathy – people feel for bad for us.
  • Attention – it brings attention to us, as people are focusing on our misfortunes.
  • Excuse of playing small – we are able to continue to play small, and don’t have try anything different/scary.

Price of Victim?

  • Stuck – we feel stuck and helpless.
  • Waste of time and energy – nothing happens, and it wastes our time and energy.  Being stuck does not serve us.
  • Unhappiness – we are unhappy with our life

Critical thinker Werner Erhard’s pioneering ideas are stimulating academic conversations in leadership and integrity.  Erhard believes, that everyone has to be given the opportunity to be responsible for your own circumstances.

Being responsible is not about blaming others or feeling guilty. But rather, taking personal responsibility is about taking a stand that you are equal to your condition in life. 

If you are equal to the condition, if you can be responsible for your own life, you can do something about it.  If you are the victim of your life, you really can’t do anything about it.  

Therefore, by taking responsibility, you are taking a stand that you have the power to bring about the life you want.

If you do not feel that you are bigger than your problem/situation, then the problem/situation takes over your life.

However, if you take the stance that you have the power to do something about your life, and as difficult as it may be, you do have the capabilities to change your circumstances.

So, what choice are you going to make today? 

Are you going to choose to accept your situation and take the stand that you have the power to change it?  Or are you going to resist it, feel like a victim and play small?  The choice is yours.


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