Have you ever felt stuck working the grind everyday, going through the motions, checking off your mundane, daily tasks from your to-do-list, just to make it to your weekend? You know in your heart of hearts, the only way to get unstuck is to make changes in your everyday life, and do what you have the passion for, and/or natural ability to do, but you don’t know where to begin. You have been living this way for so long, you can’t even remember what’s it all for?
Why are you working so hard? To retire? To travel the world? To make a difference? What’s your calling?
Often, people are willing to stick to what ‘society’ tells us we should be doing, because we have all bought into the idea of keeping up with the Joneses. We settle for what is easy, convenient, or popular. And although this makes our life simpler and a lot more predictable because others have followed this path before us, it has the dangerous potential to make us lose sight of what is truly important and unique to us.
Perhaps you are getting that paycheck at the job you don’t love, but the money is decent so you compromise yourself. You know your personal values don’t line up with the values of the company, and you sure as hell don’t love what you do, but you stay, because finding something else sounds irresponsible.
Now take a moment, take a deep breath, and think about it. What were you meant to do in your life? What is your true calling?
Taking the time to listen to and embrace what your inner voice is telling you is important work. Give yourself the chance to find your true calling, before you come up with the millions of excuses why doing so, is a bad idea.
3 Strategies to Find Your True Calling
Commit to Making a Change
You know you need to make some changes in your life, and the good news is self-awareness is the first step. Once you know better, you do better.
After that awareness, comes commitment. “Commitment is the recipe for change.” Essentially, making a commitment to change any aspect of your life so that you can leave space and time for something better – to find your true calling – is the second step.
Once you make that commitment, the third step is you need a plan. It means making a promise to yourself to set a goal or a vision; to identify what your ideal you looks like. Then, step four is to work your plan…work hard at it every day to close the gap between your current reality and your vision. Know you may relapse into old habits and patterns, but remember to be kind to yourself if you do. You are human, and not perfect “Keep your eye on the prize”, realign yourself again, and keep working at your plan.
Don’t worry if your vision is not crystal clear. It does not need to be; but what you do need to start to thinking about are the things in your life that are going against or deconstructing what you truly desire, and then, quite simply, stop doing those things.
Remember To Do The Things You Loved To Before Getting Stuck
Before you landed the job that is now consuming your life; before you were in that co-dependent relationship that made you drop all of your personal hobbies, what did you enjoy doing? What kind of activities did you participate in? What kind of hobbies did you have? What did you love to do before feeling lost and getting stuck?
Today, we put enormous pressure on ourselves to be better; whether that means to be better than our colleagues, our friends, and/or our family members. Constantly trying to outdo others eventually leaves us lost.
We forget about our personal hobbies because our significant other does not have the same passions as we do. We let go of our extracurricular activities so that we have more time to get ahead at work. No matter what the case, many of us compromise ourselves because we feel the pressure to please or surpass others – we forget about our needs, our desires, and our dreams.
Remembering the things you loved to do before getting stuck is an incredibly powerful step in finding your true calling. When you are mindful of the things that bring you enjoyment and self-fulfillment, it becomes clear what it is you truly want to do. Let yourself have fun doing those things, and stop feeling guilty about trying to find happiness.
Guilt should not creep in when we make time to do the things we love. When we let go of the guilt and give ourselves permission to be us, we find inner peace. When we take less time to think about whether or not we should or should not do something, and just do it, we make the time and space for ourselves to explore our endless possibilities. And when we allow ourselves that flexibility and freedom, we’ll be surprised of how happy we can become.
Learn to Say No
Learn to say no. Often, people regard saying no as being inconsiderate or selfish. This is not the case. When you say no to others, it means that you are putting your best interests first, and there is nothing selfish about that. This is vital when trying to gain an understanding of who we are and what we want.
Airline crews always preach to the passengers if there is an emergency on board, and the airplane malfunctions and is about to crash, we need to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first before we put one on the child. Why? Well, that’s obvious – because you are no good to your child, if you are dead.
When you learn to say no, you are respecting yourself by putting your needs first. When you don’t say no to others, their priorities get ahead of yours, and “you won’t be able to say yes to the really important things.” You need to invest in you, to figure out what it is you want and need to be to become the best version of yourself.
Also, setting boundaries and saying no to things gives you time and space to say yes to the things you love, and will lessen the chance of burnout. When you say no, you prioritize yourself – you have more energy to put into your personal and unique journey to self-actualization. And you are no good to anyone if you are not good to yourself; so be truly you.